Many partners of survivors feel that their partners' behaviour causes them distress, pain or frustration.

The difficulties which have been accentuated in the lives of survivors, such as fear of intimacy or sex, or of not feeling in control, can leave partners feeling manipulated, controlled, or abused in their turn.

The abuse, and therefore the survivor, can become ‘the problem’ in the relationship. Their feelings and behaviour can seem to be almost the only thing that’s going on, and can be blamed for any feelings the partner has.

This group will be a space where partners of survivors can begin to address their own part in the relationship. We will aim to provide a safe, supportive environment for partners to share their experiences with others, and to step outside the blaming and polarisation of the “victim - rescuer” model which many of these partnerships can fall into.

We will acknowledge the hurts caused in being a partner, of course, but will concentrate on the place of the partner in the relationship. We will look at how they chose this particular relationship, and where their hurt feelings originate.

We look towards challenging the partner in order to strengthen the relationship itself.

A note to potential group members

In order to balance the group, all potential group members will need to attend an assessment interview.
If you are interested in the group, please contact us as soon as possible.

A note to partners of group members

This group is not about blaming survivors, either for the abuse they have suffered or its effects on their current relationships.
Quite the contrary.
It can be difficult, though, for partners to support people who have been badly hurt, and this group aims to help your partner to find support for himself or herself outside your relationship.
This should help him or her to have more understanding inside your relationship.

If you would like to talk to someone about getting help or therapy for yourself, please feel to contact us.

The venue

The group will run at the West Oxford Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy in Westminster Way, Botley, Oxford.
The Centre is easily accessible by bus, is just off the Oxford Ring Road, and has ample parking nearby.

The time

The group will run on Sunday evenings, from 7 until 9pm.
There will be 12 sessions (with a break over Christmas/ New Year).
It is in the nature of a closed group of this sort that members will be expected to attend all sessions.

The cost

The sessions will be £20 each per group member.
This makes a total of £240, with a discount to £200 if paid fully in advance.
We wish to be flexible, so there will be a limited number of cheaper places available on a needs basis. Please ask.

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